The Ice Man Cometh
by MiguelCC51
Summary: A different approach to Lorelai & Emily's conversation in 'Rory's Birthday Parties' Season 1, Episode 6. Enjoy, you mooks. On INDIFINITE HIATUS.
1. Burned By the Backfire

**The Ice Man Cometh**

Setting : 'Rory's Birthday Parties' (Season 1, Episode 6).

Summery : This story begins when Lorelai and Emily are speaking in the upstairs bedroom while the party is going on. When Emily asks her daughter how long she's been seeing Luke, Lorelai decides to have some fun at her mother's expense. But as Lorelai should have expected, the joke backfires.

Disclaimer : Gilmore Girls is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Brothers Entertainment.

Quick Note : I got the idea for this fic while watching my Season 1 DVD set. That title sounds kind of dirty, doesn't it?

Chapter 1 - Burned By the Backfire

"So this Ice Man..." Emily began, looking sideways at her daughter.

"Luke," Lorelai supplied with a nod.

"How long have you been seeing him?" Emily asked with a smirk.

Lorelai was about to snort and dismiss her mother's assumption, but something stopped her.

"Well?" Emily asked.

"About two months," Lorelai answered, not knowing why she'd lied.

"So you've been seeing each other since before Rory got into Chilton?" Emily asked in an almost chiding tone.

"Um, yeah," Lorelai lamely replied.

"And you haven't even bothered to mention this at any of the several friday night dinners we've had since then?" Emily asked, indignant.

"Well, it was so new," Lorelai explained with a shrug, "I didn't want to jinx it."

"That's no excuse, Lorelai," Emily chided.

"Sorry, Mom," Lorelai replied, "But after the argument about Chris and everything else during that first dinner, I wanted to avoid a fight. Especially one concerning my love life."

Emily nodded, "I see."

"Well, now you know," Lorelai sighed dramatically.

"Bring him to dinner next week, Lorelai," Emily commanded as she reached the door, "No excuses."

"What?" Lorelai stood up, looking like a deer caught in headlights, "Wait, Mom. You can't be serious."

"I certainly am serious, Lorelai," Emily stated, walking down the stairs with Lorelai in tow.

"I...I was joking," Lorelai stammered, "He and I aren't together."

"You're not getting out of this one, young lady," Emily said with a smile, "So don't bother lying to me."

"Oh, crap," Lorelai sighed, just as Luke met them from the kitchen.

"Hello again, Mrs. Gilmore," Luke greeted.

"Hello, Luke. I hope you'll have shaved the next time we meet," Emily smiled at him, "Until then, good-bye."

"Um, okay?" Luke replied, obviously confused.

"I'll explain later," Lorelai said when Luke glanced at her for clarification. Lorelai followed her mother out the door where she was saying good-bye to Rory.

"Happy birthday, Rory," Emily hugged her grand-daughter.

"We're leaving?" Richard asked, getting up from the porch swing.

"Yes, Richard," Emily answered, "Say goodnight to your grand-daughter and let's go home."

"So what's the verdict?" Rory asked him as Richard handed her a magazine.

"I am an Autumn," Richard declared with pride.

"An Autumn, huh?" Rory smiled, "Interesting. Very interesting."

"Happy birthday, dear girl," Richard hugged his grand-daughter, "May you have many more to come." He then handed Rory an envelope, much like the one he'd given to her at Rory's other birthday party.

"Grandpa," Rory began to protest, "You've already covered Fez."

"One can never have too much for Fez," Richard smiled, "It is a rather large city, after all."

"Thanks, Grandpa," Rory replied with a grin, taking the envelope.

"Have a good night, Lorelai," Richard nodded to his daughter, then turned to leave.

"Bye, Dad," Lorelai replied.

"And don't forget to bring your friend for dinner next week," Emily reminded her daughter from the bottom of the steps.

"Mom," Lorelai whined, rolling her eyes.

"Bye, Lorelai," Emily said over her shoulder as she left to the car.

"What was that about?" Rory asked her mother.

"I messed up," Lorelai replied.

"How so?" Rory asked.

"Well, your grandmother and I were talking upstairs," Lorelai explained, "And I may have told her that Luke and I are dating."

Rory stared at her mother wide eyed, unable to say anything.

"You look like a goldfish when you do that," Lorelai commented.

"Luke is gonna kill you," Rory said finally, smirking at her.

"I know," Lorelai planted her palms on her forehead, "What the hell was I thinking?"

"You two coming back in anytime soon?" Luke asked, hanging half-way out of the door.

"Um, yeah," Lorelai replied, "Be right in there."

"Okay then," Luke nodded, then headed back inside.

"Shut up," Lorelai pointed at her daughter, "Not a word of this to Luke."

"I won't say a thing," Rory promised with a smirk.

"Good," Lorelai sighed in relief.

"Luke and Lorelai kissing in a tree," Rory began to sing as she walked toward the door.

"I thought you said you weren't going to say anything?" Lorelai asked, looking at her daughter like she was wounded.

"I'm not saying anything," Rory stuck out her tongue, "I'm singing."

"You suck," Lorelai playfully shoving her forward.

"So abusive," Rory said, pretending to be shocked, "Does your boyfriend know how you treat me, your only child?"

"You're making me look forward to the painful death that Luke will soon inflict on me," Lorelai sighed, following her daughter back into the house.

**Next...Luke's reaction.**

**Now review, you buggers!**


	2. Moment Interruptus

**The Ice Man Cometh**

Setting : 'Rory's Birthday Parties' (Season 1, Episode 6).

Disclaimer : Gilmore Girls is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Brothers Entertainment.

Quick Note : See what I did with the title there? I am so clever. Or not. Whatever.

Chapter 2 - Moment Interruptus

"So this is quite the turnout," Luke commented as Lorelai joined him.

"Well everybody just loves Rory," Lorelai replied, then turned to her head toward him.

"What?" he asked, wondering at her conflicted expression.

Lorelai sighed, then asked, "Can I talk to you, you know, alone?"

"Um...sure," Luke replied, then looked around at the crowded room, "Where do we go though?"

Lorelai glanced around to make sure nobody was watching them, then tugged his sleeve, "Upstairs."

"Okay," he replied, following Lorelai up the stairs.

"Anybody follow us up here?" Lorelai asked, glancing behind him down the stairs.

"Like who?" he asked back. Luke was getting annoyed by her antics.

"Patty or Babette," Lorelai answered, "For example."

"Okay," Luke replied exasperated, "You've been acting really weird around me since you and your mother came from your bedroom ten minutes ago. What's with you?"

Lorelai bit her lip before saying, "You have to promise not to get mad at me if I tell you though."

"And with that," Luke began to turn back down the stairs.

"Fine," Lorelai relented, "I'll tell you. Just give me a second, okay?"

"Out with it, Lorelai," Luke sighed, crossing his arms across his chest, "Or I leave."

"IkindatoldmymomthatyouandIhavebeendatingfortwomonthsandshewantsyoutocometoFridaynightdinnernextweek," Lorelai blurted out so fast, that Luke only understood two or three of the words she just said.

"Could you slow that down to a speed that's comprehensible to a normal person, Lorelai?" Luke asked.

Lorelai sighed, "I kind of told my mother that we've been dating for two months and she wants you to come to dinner next week."

Luke didn't know what to say, so he just went, "Huh?"

"I said-" Lorelai was about to repeat before Luke cut her off.

"I heard you," Luke interupted, shaking his head.

"Okay, well," Lorelai began to babble, "Because you're just standing there like some statue and I didn't know if you'd heard me right, so I just have to make sure that you're not mad at me for doing this. I really didn't think my little joke would go this far."

"Joke?" he asked dumbly.

"Yeah," Lorelai sighed, "I don't really know why I told her that we were dating. It seemed funny at the time, because my mom's such a snob and you, being a blue collar type, dating me would horrify her. I really didn't think she'd take it seriously, much less force me into dragging you to Friday night dinner, but now I've put myself in a tight spot and the only way I can get out of this is with your help."

"You're not making much sense," Luke said.

"Hello," Lorelai scoffed, "It's me, remember? Have I ever made sense to you since the first time we met?"

"Good point," Luke conceded, remembering that day when he'd first met her. It was maybe four years ago when Lorelai steamrolled into his life that summer day, looking crazed as she chased him around the diner begging for coffee. Thinking on that, Luke touched his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans, remembering what she'd given him that day. It was one of his most prized possessions.

"I'll totally understand if you choose not to help me," Lorelai continued, obviously thinking his silence as a sign of him about to tell her to piss off, "I'll just have to swallow my pride and tell my m-"

"What time is that dinner?" Luke cut in, knowing that if he didn't interupt her, then Lorelai would never shut up.

"What?" Lorelai stopped suddenly, "You gonna go with me?"

"Yes," Luke nodded, "Just tell me what time I should be ready to go, Lorelai."

Lorelai hugged him, "You're the best."

"That's the second time tonight you've told me that," Luke quipped, unable to keep himself from smiling.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, bucko," Lorelai grinned at him, pulling back to look at him.

Luke locked eyes with her at that moment, just as he done several times before. The grin disappeared from Lorelai's face as they both began to move closer to each other, both of their breath slowing to match the other's breathing. Their lips were about a half inch away from meeting when a dainty cough broke the moment, causing both Luke and Lorelai to jump back away from one another with a jolt.

"I don't mean to interupt," Rory grinned up at them, "But everybody is wondering where you two wandered off."

Luke stared at his shoes with a guilty expression on his face, while Lorelai stammered out a few sounds that made no real sense to anybody present. For the first time Luke could ever remember, Lorelai Gilmore was speechless. Luke would find it hilarious if he didn't feel so damned embarrassed.

"I'll see you later, Lorelai," Luke said, his voice sounding husky even to himself.

"Bye, Luke," Rory grinned at Luke as he made his way past her down the stairs.

Luke simply grunted, unable to meet her gaze.

Did that really just happen? Luke asked himself as he rushed out the door.

**Next...Buffy finds a...wait...wrong show...**

**Um...reviews, please?**


	3. Just In Case

**The Ice Man Cometh**

Setting : 'Rory's Birthday Parties' (Season 1, Episode 6).

Disclaimer : Gilmore Girls is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Brothers Entertainment.

Quick Note : This chapter is kind of short because I find that Emily is tough to write, but I'll give it the old college try. Of course it would help if I actually went to college, though...

Chapter 3 - Just In Case

"She was right," Emily sighed, entering the Jaguar.

"Who was right, dear?" Richard asked, buckling his seatbelt.

"Lorelai," Emily replied, glancing at him with hurt in her eyes, "I don't know my own daughter."

Richard patted her hand, knowing no words of his could console her. "Let's go home," he suggested.

"Yes, Richard," Emily smiled weakly, "Let's go."

It was a quiet ride back to Hartford, both lost in their own thoughts. It wasn't until they'd reached the mansion's driveway when Emily decided to dropped the bomb.

"Did you see that man at Rory's party?" Emily asked her husband, "The one in the flannel and jeans?"

"Only in passing," Richard replied, turning the engine off, "He brought in some ice, if I'm not mistaken."

"That would be him," Emily nodded, "His name is Luke. He'll be coming to dinner next Friday." And with that, Emily exited the Jag and headed inside, leaving her flabbergasted husband sitting in the Jaguar to collect his thoughts.

A few moments later, Richard followed her inside and asked his wife, "Why would this Luke be coming to dinner next week, Emily?"

"Apparently Lorelai's been dating this man for two months," Emily sighed, agitated once again by the realization that Lorelai was embarrassed of her parents and their lifestyle, "And she was afraid to tell us because she didn't want me passing judgement."

"Two months," Richard did the math in his head, "Then that would place the beginning of their relationship shortly before Rory started at Chilton."

"Yes, Richard," Emily snapped, "I've already figured that out."

Richard snorted in derision, "No need to take that tone, Emily."

"And what tone should I take, Richard?" Emily asked, obviously on the verge of going into rant mode, "Our daughter is so ashamed of where she comes from that she feels the need to hide important events in her life. Just how is that supposed to make me feel, Richard? Tell me!"

"You need to calm down, dear," Richard soothed, "I'm sure Lorelai had her reasons."

"This wouldn't be happening if she'd just married Christopher like we'd planned," Emily sighed, regaining control, "What kind of man is this Luke, I wonder? Is he good enough to be involved with Rory's life? To be her potential step-father?" She shook her head, "At least before the dinners, we didn't have to know what sort of men Lorelai got involved with."

"Out of sight, out of mind," Richard agreed, removing his coat and handing it to the maid.

"Exactly," Emily agreed, doing the same as her husband.

"Will that be all, Madam? Sir?" the maid asked, holding their coats and such.

"Yes," Emily waved her off, "Thank you, Elise."

Elise nodded and left without saying another word.

"You'll get the answer to at least one of those questions next week, Emily," Richard assured, "Shall we go to bed now?"

"I'll be up in a minute," Emily replied.

"Alright," Richard smiled, "Don't take too long, dear."

"I won't," Emily smiled as he left upstairs to get ready for bed. Emily waited until she was certain her husband was gone and then entered his study. Picking up the phone, Emily dialed a number she hadn't called for several years.

"Hello," Emily greeted when somebody answered after three rings, "This is Emily Gilmore. Yes, I know. I'm sorry for calling so late in the evening, but I need some information and you're the only person I could think of." A beat passed by before she continued, "Yes, that's what I'm calling about." Another beat past before Emily grabbed the Montblanc pen from its holder and wrote the information on a sheet of paper.

"Yes, I think it would be delightful if we could all have dinner some time," Emily nodded as the person on the other line continued speaking, "And thank you for the number, Francine. Give Straub my best. Good night."

Emily folded the paper and placed it in her pocket.

"Just in case," Emily murmered before leaving the study.

**Come on.**

**I know you want to say it.**

**That bitch.**

**Anyhow, I just wanna say thank youse all for reviewing and I'd like more please!**

**I'm such an attention whore, I know.**

**And don't forget to REVIEW this chapter as well, cuz I need my enablers (that's you guys) to feed my addiction.**

**So until next time, party like rock stars!**

**P.S. - Due to some serious continuity errors, I've removed 'Love, Coffee & Idiots'. Don't worry though, because it will be back in revised form sometime in the future.**


	4. Rory Gilmore, Mediator Extraordinaire

**The Ice Man Cometh**

Setting : 'Rory's Birthday Parties' (Season 1, Episode 6).

Disclaimer : Gilmore Girls is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Brothers Entertainment.

Quick Note : Sorry for keeping you guys waiting, but I've been busy watching Robotech for the last couple of days. It's so cheesy, but I simply love that badly out-dated cartoon. I just wish that they had kept it closer to the Japanese original (Macross), where the main character actually slaps Min-Mei for being such a selfish bitch. Anyhow, here's the 4th Chapter!

Chapter 4 - Rory Gilmore, Mediator Extraordinaire

"You've been avoiding him for almost four days now," Rory pointed out, "I think it's high time you guys talked about it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Lorelai replied, avoiding eye contact.

"And in that entire time, you haven't been able to look me in the eye once," Rory pointed out again.

"Still don't know what you're talking about," Lorelai stated, walking away from her daughter and heading into the kitchen.

Rory followed her mother, undaunted by Lorelai's stubbornness, "I'm talking about the almost kiss I walked in on upstairs. You were there, I was there. Well I was there, but you didn't almost kiss me. You almost kissed Luke, is what I'm trying to say."

Lorelai slammed her empty cup against the counter top, "Stop it, Rory."

Rory jumped a little, "Okay. I see I hit a nerve."

Lorelai sighed, "I'm sorry, hon. I'm just a little confused by the whole situation right now."

"And you don't want to see Luke until you've figured it out, huh?" Rory reasoned.

"Yeah," Lorelai admitted, then sighed, "One second I'm begging him to be my pretend boyfriend, then the next we almost start making out like a couple of teenagers. It's so embarrassing."

"Imagine how he feels right now," Rory smirked, "Busted by the daughter, then avoided by the mother. I bet he's going nuts."

"You think?" Lorelai brightened at that. If there was one thing that Rory knew about her mother, it was that Lorelai loved harrassing Luke and making him crazy. Little did Lorelai know that Luke was already crazy about her. Everybody in town could see it, but maybe now Lorelai would finally see it as well. If only I could get them talking again, Rory thought in frustration.

"I have an idea," Rory smiled suddenly, "Go upstairs and change into the good sweater."

"I don't think-" Lorelai began.

"Don't think," Rory interrupted, "Just do it."

"Did you just quote a Nike commercial?" Lorelai asked, baffled.

"Go," Rory ordered, pointing to the stairs, "And hurry up, because I'm hungry."

"This is such a bad idea," Lorelai muttered moments later, as she stood along side Rory around the corner from the diner.

"And you are such a chicken," Rory stated.

"Am not," Lorelai whined.

Rory just gave her mother a look, telling Lorelai she wasn't convinced.

Lorelai sighed, "Fine. I'm a big, giant chicken. Can we go home now?"

"If you guys don't talk about it," Rory said matter-of-factly, "Then how is he going to help you convince Grandma to leave you alone?"

A moment past by before Lorelai muttered, "Shit."

Rory smiled, knowing she'd finally won out. "Shall we?"

"Lead the way," Lorelai sighed in defeat.

"I don't have to drag you in?" Rory asked, skeptical.

Lorelai looked insulted, "No."

"You're not going to bolt when I'm not looking, are you?" Rory asked.

"Rory," Lorelai sounded hurt by the comment, "How can you ask me that, your loving mother?"

"Because I don't want to be like that pet store clerk you ditched Skippy on," Rory replied, "So you're walking in front of me."

"Fine," Lorelai huffed, "But I'm not going to forget this."

"Quit stalling, Mom," Rory commanded, giving her mother 'the stern face' and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I do this under protest," Lorelai said finally, stalking past her daughter and toward the diner.

"Duly noted," Rory nodded, then followed after Lorelai. When Lorelai tried to turn around and run, Rory started taunting her by making chicken sounds.

"Did you just go 'bock, bock, bock' at me?" Lorelai asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Rory stuck her tongue out then pushed Lorelai toward the door, "Now get in there, you giant chicken."

"You stink," Lorelai pouted before turning and entering Luke's.

"Finally," Rory breathed out.

"Whoa," Lorelai muttered, marvelling at how quiet the diner got at that moment.

Rory had to agree with her mother. "What's with the sudden hush?" Rory asked, slightly disturbed.

"Why is it so damn quiet all of a sudden?" Luke shouted from the kitchen, obviously unaware of Lorelai and Rory's presence. When nobody answered him, Luke came out and stopped in his tracks when he noticed Lorelai standing near the door.

"Hi, Luke," Lorelai waved, sounding timid.

"Lorelai," Luke whispered.

"Luke," Lorelai replied.

"Rory," he said, nodding at Rory.

"Luke," Rory nodded back.

"Rory?" Lorelai asked, like she just realized that her daughter was there.

"Mom," Rory nudged her.

"What?" Lorelai asked, confused by the entire exchange.

"Let's grab something to eat," Rory suggested, coming to their rescue, "Luke, two Gilmore Specials, please."

"Uh," Luke stammered, "S-sure thing, Rory."

"Gilmore Specials?" Lorelai asked after the diner's noise level returned to normal, the both of them sitting down at the counter.

"Our usuals," Rory explained as if her mother were some sort of amnesiac, "Bacon, eggs on pancakes, with sausages on the side."

"Oh," Lorelai replied, "Right. Those Gilmore Specials."

Rory chuckled. They are so cute, she thought.

"What are you snickering about?" Lorelai asked.

"Oh, nothing," Rory sing-songed.

Lorelai frowned, "Rory..."

"You're such the smitten kitten," Rory teased.

Lorelai's eyes widened, "Shut up."

"Lorelai," Luke said suddenly, setting down their plates in front of them, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Um, sure, Luke," Lorelai replied, then glanced around.

"Storeroom," Luke supplied, then turned towards the storeroom.

Lorelai looked over at Rory, panic threatening to overtake her.

"Go," Rory gestured, trying not to grin.

"Okay," her mother replied.

When Lorelai was almost to the door, Rory couldn't resist. "Good luck," Rory called out, bringing the attention of the entire diner on her.

Lorelai scowled at her before entering the storeroom to speak with a waiting Luke.

"I am having way too much fun with this," Rory stated with a grin.

**After the last chapter, I felt I had to get back to true heart of this fic. Which is, of course, the awkwardness that is the Luke and Lorelai relationship.**

**Next chapter...the conversation in the storeroom.**

**REVIEW...or not. Whatever.**

**See ya later!**


	5. The Storeroom

**The Ice Man Cometh**

Setting : 'Rory's Birthday Parties' (Season 1, Episode 6).

Disclaimer : Gilmore Girls is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Brothers Entertainment.

Quick Note : This chapter is rather short, but it gets the point across. Enjoy!

Chapter 5 - The Storeroom

"So..." Luke began.

"So..." Lorelai parroted.

"How you doing?" Luke asked.

"I'm good," Lorelai replied, "You?"

"Same here," Luke answered.

"So..." Lorelai licked her lips, "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah," Luke nodded, "I think you know why, huh?"

"Please tell me it's about cheese," Lorelai quipped, "Because I'm a cheese afficiato, if you didn't know."

"This I know," Luke smiled, "But no, it's not about cheese."

"Darn," Lorelai frowned, "Cause I could talk your ear off about cheese."

"You can talk anybody's ear off about any subject, Lorelai," Luke replied.

"True," she agreed.

The two of them stood motionless for a moment, the awkward silence hanging in between.

"This is stupid," Lorelai said finally, "So we almost kissed. No big deal, right?" Before Luke could reply, Lorelai began her patented pace and rant. "Right. We can get throught this. I value our friendship and I'm willing to do anything to preserve it. I'm willing to forget the whole thing if you want."

"Is that what you want, Lorelai?" Luke asked, "To forget it ever happened?"

"I don't know," Lorelai replied honestly, "I just don't like avoiding you. Is it what you want?"

"I don't know either," Luke sighed, "If the whole thing makes you uncomfortable, then I'd be willing to forget the entire ordeal if you like."

"So almost kissing me is an ordeal, is it?" Lorelai smirked.

"Jeez," Luke groaned, "You know what I mean."

"Yeah," Lorelai nodded, "I do."

"Then we're good?" Luke asked.

"Almost," Lorelai said, taking a step toward him.

"What are you doing?" Luke asked.

"Would you just stand still?" Lorelai asked back, pulling him against her.

"What are doing?" Luke repeated, only this time whispered.

"I don't want to forget it happened," Lorelai breathed before kissing him.

"Hey, boss," Caesar said, choosing just then to enter the storeroom, "I need...holy crap."

"Oy, with the interruptions already!" Lorelai groaned.

"Sorry," Caesar apologized, walking backwards and closing the door.

"Now where were we?" Lorelai asked, smiling.

"You're sure about this?" Luke asked back.

"Sure as sure can be," Lorelai nodded.

"Okay then," Luke replied before kissing her.

"We should probably get back out there," Luke said, out of breath after their make-out session.

"And how should we do this?" Lorelai gasped out, "Should I go first? Or should you?"

"Ladies first," Luke smirked.

Lorelai snorted, "Whoever said chivalry is dead had obviously never met you, Luke Danes."

"Nice snort," Luke replied, still smirking.

"Oh, shut up," Lorelai said before kissing him again, beginning another round of making out.

**Told ya.**

**REVIEW, please!**


	6. One Too Many Gilmore Girls

**The Ice Man Cometh**

Setting : 'Rory's Birthday Parties' (Season 1, Episode 6).

Disclaimer : Gilmore Girls is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Brothers Entertainment.

Quick Note : Due to the shortness of the last chapter, this one is gonna be longer! I hope. Maybe.

Chapter 6 - One Too Many Gilmore Girls

Luke tugged at his shirt collar, uncomfortable as Lorelai looked over her handy work.

"Is this really necessary?" He asked, feeling every bit the fool.

"Everything has to be perfect if we're going to pull this off, Luke." Lorelai replied, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Because if it isn't, then we'll never hear the end of it from my mother."

"But do we really have to do this while I'm working?" Luke asked, glancing around at his gawking customers.

"You got Caesar in the kitchen and Ben working the tables. Everything is fine." Lorelai waved dismissively. "Besides, if you wanted privacy, you should've listened to me when I suggested that we do this at my house."

"Hey Fabio," A curly haired guy with glasses said from the counter. "Nice threads."

"Stuff it, Joe." Luke growled.

"Did your girlfriend pick them out for you?" Joe taunted, grinning ear to ear.

"As a matter of fact, I did." Lorelai stated, crossing her arms over chest. "You got a problem with that?"

"Uh...no, no problem here, Lorelai," Joe back-peddled, his grin disappearing from shock. "Good choice in...um...menswear. I'll be shutting up now."

Luke chuckled, "That was funny."

"Anyhow, I'm think we should go with the black sweater with the dark blazer." Lorelai stated, turning her attention back to Luke.

"I am not wearing a black sweater with a dark blazer." Luke protested.

"Why not?"

"I'll look like an idiot."

Lorelai furrowed her brow before nodding. "How about the blue sweater then?"

"How about I stay home instead?" Luke asked back, exasperated with the entire process.

"Luke..." Lorelai whined, giving him the pout.

"Ah, jeez," Luke groaned, looking up at the ceiling.

Lorelai grinned, knowing she'd won. "Okay, how about this then." She suggested. "Light blue dress shirt, dark blazer with matching pants."

"You mean slacks, don't you?" Luke asked.

"Don't say slacks," Lorelai made a sour face. "That word gives me the creeps."

"Slacks give you the creeps?" Luke smiled.

"No, slacks don't give me the creeps," Lorelai replied. "Just the word slacks...can we change the subject, please? I'm getting a serious case of the wiggins here."

The bells jiggled then, with Rory and Lane entering. "Whoa, look at who's all GQ'ed up!" Rory grinned.

"Okay, that's it." Luke threw his arms up, obviously exasperated. "I've had enough of everybody's stupid comments and their irritating gawking. Grab all the clothes. We're going to finish this upstairs."

"Dirty!" Rory exclaimed.

"Hey, that's my line." Lorelai said to her daughter.

"That is not what I meant." Luke frowned.

"It's not that I'm not flattered, Luke," Lorelai smirked. "But don't you think it's a little early in the relationship for some afternoon delight?"

"Why do I even bother talking to you some days?" Luke groaned.

"Because I'm adorable and you're madly in love with me?" Lorelai cooed, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

Luke breathed deeply and hid his reddening face behind his hand before muttering. "I'm going upstairs now."

"Take these," Lorelai said, handing him a couple of bags. "I'll be right up."

"That was mean." Luke heard Rory say to her mother.

"I'll make it up to him." He heard Lorelai say back before he got out of earshot. He couldn't hear Rory's response to that, but Luke figured it to be the usual exclaimation of 'Dirty'. Lorelai he could handle on most days, but when Rory got in on the torturing, Luke couldn't find the door fast enough. The two were way too much for him on some days, as was the case today.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Luke muttered, dropping the bags beside the couch and then plopping onto it.

"Way to make a girl feel wanted." Lorelai said from the open door, holding several items of clothing in her arms.

Luke got up from the couch and grabbed some of the load from her. "Sorry about that." Luke apologized.

"It's alright," Lorelai replied, placing her part of the load onto the couch where Luke had been sitting. "I know Rory and I can be a handful at times. It's only natural that you'd want to go running for the hills sometimes."

Luke shrugged, "At least you're aware of it."

"Aware of it?" Lorelai grinned, putting her arms around his neck and pulling him close. "Baby, I revel in it!"

"Don't you have an off switch?" Luke asked, placing his hands on her hips.

"Sorry," Lorelai replied. "There's only one way you stop words from escaping these lips. Well, at least in theory."

"I'd like to test that theory," Luke smiled before kissing her.

A moment past by before a polite cough from the door broke the kiss.

"Jeez, Rory. Are you some kind of pervert..." Lorelai began until she noticed who was standing in the doorway. "Mom?" Lorelai asked, shocked and dismayed as her mother, prim and proper Emily Gilmore, stood at the door and looked back with a disapproving expression in her eyes.

"Sorry," Rory apologized from behind her grandmother, "I tried to stop her, but she just blew right by me."

"Hello, Mrs. Gilmore," Luke greeted, awkwardly disengaging himself from Lorelai's embrace. "It's nice to see you again."

"I'm sure it is, Luke," Emily nodded, a polite (but obviously forced) smile plastered on her face.

"What are you doing here, Mom?" Lorelai asked, an irritated expression on her face. Luke recognized that expression. It was the same one Lorelai wore whenever she got back from Hartford on Friday nights and came to the diner for coffee. What the hell did I agree to? Luke wondered as mother and daughter faced-off in his apartment.

"Could you give my daughter and myself a moment of privacy, Luke?" Emily asked, glancing at him.

"Mother," Lorelai snapped. "This is his home. You don't have any right-"

"Lorelai," Luke touched her arm. "It's fine. I'll just go check on how things are going downstairs."

"You sure?" Lorelai asked.

"I'm sure," Luke nodded.

"I'll go with you," Rory offered.

"Luke," Lorelai said as he and Rory made their way toward the door, "Wait."

"What?" Luke asked, stopping.

Lorelai kissed him softly, then whispered an apology. "Sorry." She said in his ear.

Luke squeezed her hand reassuredly before leaving out the door, with Rory on his heels as they quickly made their way down the stairs and into the diner.

"I wonder what they're talking about up there?" Rory asked, sitting down at the counter.

Luke said nothing, but he was also wondering that himself.

**And...scene!**

**Chapter 7 will be along shortly (I hope), so hold onto your knickers.**

**You know, I was (or rather, still am) unsatisfied with the chapter title, but I am stumped as to what I could change it to. So I'm just gonna leave the fracking thing as it is.**

**Oh, yeah. Don't forget to REVIEW, if you like. I may even respond. I kind of sounded like a dick there, didn't I?**

**Anyways...see you next time peoples!**

**P.S. - Feist won every Juno she was up for, beating out the likes of Celine Dion (over-rated) and Avril Lavigne (no talent hack). I am pleased. I now consider the Junos a more credible music award show than the Grammies, who completely SCREWED over my favorite little indie songstress by not handing over any statuettes to her. Who here agrees with me?**


	7. Emily's Resolve

**The Ice Man Cometh**

Disclaimer : Gilmore Girls is the property of Amy Sherman-Palladino and Warner Brothers Entertainment.

Quick Note : This chapter tells the events leading up to Emily's arrival at Luke's, as well as the conversation that takes place in the apartment with Lorelai. The end is gonna be another one of those special Emily moments, so get reading!

Chapter 7 - Emily's Resolve

Though Emily had been trying to get hold of her daughter for the entire day, her efforts had been met with little to no success. First she had phoned that inn Lorelai was so proud of, but the concierge told her that Lorelai was out and would be for the remainder of the day. When she pressed him for details, the french man (at least Emily thought he sounded french) had gone on to say something about not being paid enough to keep tabs on the woman. Emily decided it wasn't worth leaving a message with the insufferable man, and hung up on him. She had also tried Lorelai's cellphone, as well as Rory's, without answer to either one. She'd left countless messages on their answering machine and voice mails, but knew from experience that Lorelai would most likely ignore them if given the chance. And what Emily had to tell her daughter was too important to be left to chance. Well, important to Emily anyway. Lorelai would probably brush it aside as an unimportant detail, as she did with most things concerning Emily's world.

So now Emily found herself standing on her daughter and grand-daughter's porch, wondering why neither were answering the door.

"For God's sake, Lorelai," Emily muttered, exasperated at her daughter's inaccessibility. "Where on earth are you?"

"Hello, Sugah," a short blonde woman waved from the neighboring yard.

"Hello," Emily returned with a polite nod.

"You're Lorelai's mother, ain't ya?" the blonde woman asked in a raspy voice, lifting her hand to shield her eyes from the late afternoon sun.

"Why yes, I am," Emily answered with a nod. "And you are?"

"Babette," the blonde smiled, introducing herself before asking. "Are you looking for Lorelai and Rory?"

People are quite friendly in this town, Emily thought before replying, "Yes, I am. Would you happen to know where I may find them?"

"Well, seeing as it is nearly five o'clock," the short blonde answered. "I figure they'll be over at Luke's."

Emily rolled her eyes, disgusted with herself for not thinking of that possibility. Of course, Lorelai would be spending time with her hirsute boyfriend. How stupid of me, Emily thought. With a sigh, she asked, "And where would this Luke live, might I ask?"

The blonde grinned, "He's won't be at home, though home isn't very far for him anyway."

"Alright then," Emily replied, confused by the answer.

"But if you really need to find them," Babette continued, "They'd be at his diner on main street. You can't miss it."

"Thank you, Babette." Emily nodded, feeling she was finally making some headway in her search.

"Anytime, doll." Babette said as Emily left the doorstep and made her way back to her Lexus.

A couple of minutes later, Emily pulled her car up the curb and made her way into the diner. Seeing no one she knew (or wished to know for that matter), Emily walked up to counter to speak with the person behind it.

"How may I help you?" A middle-aged asian man asked, wiping the counter top as he spoke to her.

"Would you happen to know either Lorelai or Rory Gilmore?" Emily asked, looking distastefully at the task he was performing.

"Yes, I would." the man replied with a nod before glancing around. "Hmm, that's funny..."

Emily was getting annoyed. "What is funny?" Emily sighed.

"They were just here a second ago..." He answered before calling to an asian girl sitting by herself at the counter. "Hey, Lane." No answer. "Lane!" He yelled, getting the girl's attention.

The girl named Lane, who'd been listening to some device with headphones, looked up, startled as she pulled the headphones off her ears. "What? You need something, Ben?"

"Did you see where Lorelai went?" Ben asked.

"Upstairs with Luke," Lane replied before placing her headphones back on.

"There you go, ma'am." Ben nodded. "Guess you'll have to wait- you can't go up there!"

Emily had enough. She was tired of running around this strange little town and it's even stranger citizens. She just wanted to deliver her message and get back to Hartford as soon as possible. Making her way toward the checkered curtain, Emily almost ran over her grand-daughter, who'd just appeared from behind said curtain.

"Grandma?" Rory asked, stepping back to avoid her grandmother in surprise.

"Is your mother upstairs, Rory?" Emily asked.

"Yeah," she replied.

"Thank you, Rory." Emily replied before breezing by her.

"Wait, Grandma!" Rory cried, but Emily was already halfway up the stairs.

Emily stood dumb-founded by the sight before her when she reached the top of the stairs. Lorelai had her arms wrapped around her boyfriend's neck and shoulders, kissing the ice man like there was no tomorrow. All the while making soft moaning sounds into his mouth. The display was repulsive. Lorelai could do so much better than this...commoner.

She'd seen enough and let her presence be known by letting out a soft cough to get their attention.

"Jeez, Rory. Are you some kind of pervert..." Lorelai quipped before she realized who she was addressing. "Mom?" Lorelai asked, obviously shocked to be caught in the act.

"Sorry," Rory apologized from behind her grandmother. "I tried to stop her, but she just blew right by me."

"Hello, Mrs. Gilmore," Luke greeted, awkwardly disengaging himself from Lorelai's embrace. "It's nice to see you again."

"I'm sure it is, Luke," Emily nodded, stepping toward them. It took all of Emily's poise to keep a smile on her lips.

"What are you doing here, Mom?" Lorelai asked, an irritated expression on her face. It was the same petulant look she wore when Lorelai was a teenager.

"Could you give my daughter and myself a moment of privacy, Luke?" Emily asked.

"Mother," Lorelai snapped. "This is his home. You don't have any right-"

"Lorelai," Luke touched her arm.

Get your hands off my daughter, Emily fumed.

"It's fine. I'll just go check on how things are going downstairs." He finished.

"You sure?" Lorelai asked.

"I'm sure," Luke nodded.

"I'll go with you," Rory offered.

"Luke," Lorelai said as he and Rory made their way toward the door, "Wait."

"What?" Luke asked, stopping halfway to the door.

Lorelai kissed him softly, then whispered something in his ear. Emily couldn't hear from where she was, but figured Lorelai was apologizing for her mother's behavior. The nerve of the girl!

When Rory and the ruffian had left, Lorelai turned and glared at her.

Emily glanced around the apartment, wondering how anybody could possibly live in such squalor. "I suppose you're wondering why I'm here, Lorelai." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"I do remember asking you that, Mother." Lorelai replied curtly. "Right before you kicked my boyfriend out of his own home, I might add," she huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.

"He actually lives in this...tiny space?" Emily asked, trying (and failing miserably) not to sound judgemental.

"Mother..." Lorelai warned.

"Very well," Emily sighed. "I wanted to inform you that your father will not be joining us for Friday night dinner as he has been called away on urgent business in New Orleans."

"A little bit early for Mardi Gras, isn't it?" Lorelai smirked.

"What?" Emily asked, not understanding what her daughter was talking about.

"Nevermind, it's not important." Lorelai shook her head.

"Anyway, I'm sorry about just barging in on you and...Luke like I did," Emily apologized. "I'll be expecting you three at 6:00pm sharp. Dress your best, please."

"Is that all you wanted to tell me?" Lorelai asked, sounding annoyed again. "Why didn't you just call me on my cellphone?"

"I tried, but I only got your and Rory's voicemail." Emily explained, making her way to the door. "You should really look into doing something about that Lorelai." She chided on her way to the door.

"Where is my cellphone anyway?" Lorelai asked aloud before groaning, "Damn, I left it at the inn!"

"See you friday, Lorelai." Emily said before exitting the apartment. She made her way down the stairs and into the diner, where Rory and Luke were having a conversation. She stopped to observe her grand-daughter and this man interact, though as to why, she couldn't know. Rory laughed at something Luke had said before they noticed her standing there.

"Everything okay, Grandma?" Rory asked.

No. Emily thought. Everthing isn't okay, Rory. But I'm going to do something about it.

"Mrs. Gilmore?" Luke asked, concern on his face.

"I've got to leave now," Emily said suddenly. "I'll see you at dinner friday, Rory. Luke."

"Bye, Grandma," Rory said as Emily walked out the door.

When she got home, Emily walked directly into her bedroom and opened the top drawer of her dresser. Pulling out what she was searching for, she made her way downstairs to the den and picked up the phone. Looking at the piece of paper in her hand, Emily punched in the numbers written and waited for an answer.

"Hello?" Came the familiar voice.

"Hello Christopher," Emily greeted. "This is Emily."

**Dun dun DUN!**

**Finish this sentence : What a c-!**

**REVIEW please!**


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